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New Year, New Decade, Same (kind of) me and other randomness

I think this is my first online blog post EVER. I kind of feel like this is a journal of sorts, but one that the entire world is able to read. Not really, because, like, how many people will actually read what I have to say? Probably no one. But anywho… I promised someone that I would blog some things, so here I am.

Year in review – 2019

I decided I wanted to strive towards a whole new way of thinking. Things I was bothered with/let get under my skin, I no longer gave energy to. I will say, that was one of the MOST AMAZING gifts I gave myself! I also have tried my very best to say what I mean and mean what I say. For instance (and one of the BEST examples) is to NOT say I don’t have time to do something. I have changed that to – I haven’t MADE the time to do something. There are 24 hours in a day, and you make the time for what is important. 😉 I also have continued to refrain from using profanity, not eat pork Lord how I miss bacon and ham sometimes, and not chew gum (silly one, but I haven’t had any gum for over 4 years now) – I could pop my gum with the best of them. I miss that too sometimes and sometimes have dreams where I am chewing gum and wake up worried that I broke my streak. Smh.

Aaaand other than that, I can’t think of any other major earth-shattering things that have happened.

For 2020, I plan to get out a little more. I work from home and am home about 95% each day during the week. I get out when it is time to pick up my little from school. On the weekends I tend to get out a little more, as errands can’t run themselves! I am sure if I could get on some sort of fabulous schedule I could make time for other things in my life.

I seem to be just surviving and not thriving right now. I don’t make much time for myself. I start my weekdays at 6 am. Wake up “the boy” (my son haha), get him ready for school and on the bus by 6:45 am. Feed the cats and clean up after them (litter – ugh, WHY can’t they ONLY use the automatic box I spent hundreds of dollars on?!?!? – that would be a Christmas miracle), clean the kitchen (if needed), and either head back to bed for a few minutes, or get ready for the day. The really sad part about all this is that there are days where I get ready for the day and put pajammies RIGHT BACK on after getting ready, lol. Some days, I just can’t bring myself to put on real clothes. (more on this later – smiles)

I start my work day at 8 am (or between 8 and 9) and end at 5 pm. There are times I get into a groove and work right through lunch – I really need to set a timer so I STOP working and step away from my desk to eat. Working through lunch is probably one of the reasons I am so tired at the end of the day. Sometimes there is SO MUCH WORK I need to do that I have working lunches. Oh, how I miss the days where my workday was much less structured. No lie, the paycheck and benefits are NICE… but I really do miss my old clients and the flexibility I had. Sigh.

At the end of my day (5 pm) I head to pick up the boy, cook dinner – I really need to start using that Instant Pot Monica bought for me last year, get him started on homework, clean (or whatever else needs to be done), get him in bed by 8 pm, then have an hour to myself before I head to bed by 9 pm. Most nights I am asleep (according to my sleep app anyway) within 5 minutes, although it seems it takes a while for me to fall asleep. I do wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and then I’m up for hours. I take that time to try to read – I have just started doing this, I normally would stay on my effing phone playing games I didn’t make the time to play during the day – or I turn on the tv because the silence is TOO LOUD. Sigh.

Then, I start this cycle all over again the next day. My husband is still on the road (more on THAT later too), so I still don’t have much help, other than my daughter who I will say is a HUGE help. If she wasn’t here, I would probably have a lot more wine nights, lol. Saturdays are typically spent running errands, and Sunday is clean and prep for the week day. Oh, one other thing I incorporated into my 2019 was on Sunday, I washed all my laundry and ironed my/my son’s clothes and prepped my son’s clothes (pajammies and school clothes) for the week. We also started having him pack his snacks for the week so when he decided to take his lunch to school, the snacks were already packed so he just needed to grab a sandwich from the freezer and a bottle of water. Those little things made the work week MUCH easier for both of us. He knows where his clothes are and I don’t have to run around trying to iron something at the last minute or who am I kidding trying to find the most non-wrinkled shirt for him to wear.

So, my personal goal this year is to get on some sort of routine where I don’t feel so exhausted all the time. I haven’t been to the gym in months and I can definitely tell. Again though, you make time for what is important. Brandon works out twice per day AND works 12+ hours daily, so what is my excuse reason for not putting this into my day? Honestly, don’t know. I COULD do a little cardio after Taylor gets on the bus and before I get ready for the day. I have a little over an hour after he gets on the bus before I start my day. The bed invites me back and keeps calling me until I answer. Honestly, I just haven’t made the time to put it in my schedule. It is overwhelming. Since December, I have been running around non-stop. I need some time where I am child-free and don’t have to wake up super early and my house is already clean and the laundry is done. A day or two where I can just…. be. A day or two to unplug completely.

A day off….what’s that? I’m a MOM! 

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One thought on “New Year, New Decade, Same (kind of) me and other randomness

  1. Wow, Jennifer. This was great. Thanks for writing it! I think you’re making some positive moves here. Shifting your mindset for being “too busy” to “I have other higher priorities” is a great one, and one of the things I started doing several years ago. You should try to write more regularly for yourself since it’s a way to cut the “BS” and mess that’s usually what’s inside people’s minds. Once it’s on paper, it’s pretty clear to see what’s wrong and what needs to be done. One other thing I would say, is that your posts can be restricted to show to only your supporters or your chat connections. I believe this one is set to be accessible by “everyone” right now. Your posts and podcasts can even be set to be viewable for yourself alone. That way, you can really be more free to write about your life, and not some incomplete representation of it (vis a vis every other social media site). Thanks so much for giving this a try! 🙂

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